A little surprise, an evening in the park or a walk together can go a long way. You don't need expensive gifts to compensate for the time you haven't been able to spend with your child. All your ward needs from the day he/she is born is quality time with you. You may keep busy but make it a point to not miss their school programmes. Parents and psychologists feel, at a time when adolescence sets in early and children grow up faster and in the process also get distant from their parents, it is important for them to get involved in the little details of their child's life.
"There are multiple problems that a child is exposed to these days. The increasing trend of nuclear and double-income families makes them lonely and they start looking for companionship on social networking sites and outside the family. This leads to behavioural problems in the child," says city-based psychiatrist Tushar Jagawat.
Expensive gifts to hide one's guilt of not giving time to their child, is a way many well-off parents opt for making up to their children, but Jagawat strongly discourages the practice. Rakhi Rathore, manager
at Eye Bank Society of Rajasthan and a mother to two girls says, "My daughters don't want gifts from me, they just want my time. Even when I am busy at work, I call my elder daughter when she is back from
school." Rakhi, who also travels a lot in the course of her work, believes in getting involved with her children and also involving them in her life. "If they ask me to come home early on a particular day, I ensure
I do that.
Communication is a must, and I keep talking to them about what I did during the day and ask them the same. In the evenings, we often go to parks and spend time together," Rakhi adds. Communication gap is one big reason children drift away from parents, says child counsellor Meghna Bhagwati who practices at Durgapura. "Systems should be planned in such a way that you and your child spend some part of your day together. For example, you should make having one meal together in a day a must, and talk about your lives over the meal. Besides that, take your children out on weekends and also plan trips with them. A lot of bonding and catching up on the time lost is possible on trips," she suggests.
Savita Jagawat, who counsels parents and children at a well-known city hospital, says, "A child's personality is developed from day one. So, parents should connect with him/her from that time itself." A teenage girl once told Savita, in the course of her counselling session, that when she needed her parents the most, they weren't there. Now she doesn't need them anymore. Savita, who also conducts regular workshops at schools, says that owing to increasing exposure, adolescence now sets in from the age of 10 years, and if children won't get time from parents from the beginning, they will look for company outside home which isn't
advisable at an early age.
Working parents shouldn't feel guilty, say counsellors, as despite commitments, one can still be connected with their child's life. Banker Himanshu Pant, a resident of Sri Gopal Nagar, ensures he bonds with his son over what he learns in school everyday. "I ask him what he learnt at school and then show him related stuff
and images on the internet. This way, he gets an additional perspective and shares everything with me," he says. Himanshu and his son fly kites on weekends in winters and play football together. Counsellors say it is important for parents to give time to their children on a daily basis. Time management is the key word and it is important to plan your child's day in a way that when he/she needs you the most, you are there.
Jaishri Sidha, principal of Jaipur Public School says, "I try to find innovative and creative ways of getting involved with my sons. I am there when they wake up and try and adjust my time-table according to
their routine. I ensure my children have adequate interaction with their maternal and paternal grandparents so that they learn the right values from them." The joint family system is a great help, feel many parents, and the
city's cultural ethos still holds family values in the highest esteem. However, even in nuclear families, right efforts at the right time will keep your relationship intact.
Sangeeta Ranka, associated with a training institute, says, "Everyone in the family has a different schedule, but it is important to find a common time to spend together. We ask parents to ensure their child wakes up on time in the morning so that everyone starts their day together. Also, taking them for activities that interest them like dance classes is a great way to bond."
Sangeeta maintains that dialogue is important to nurture a parent-child relationship. "Tell them stories about your own childhood. Not only will they love listening to them but will relate to you even more. When you take them out to amusement parks or any other outings, switch off your phone. Give them your undivided
attention," she suggests.
Planning their children's weekends, making birthdays and festivals special for them adds value to a parent-child relationship. In this manner, the child will get enough space to bond with the parent and also feel more wanted.
"There are multiple problems that a child is exposed to these days. The increasing trend of nuclear and double-income families makes them lonely and they start looking for companionship on social networking sites and outside the family. This leads to behavioural problems in the child," says city-based psychiatrist Tushar Jagawat.
Expensive gifts to hide one's guilt of not giving time to their child, is a way many well-off parents opt for making up to their children, but Jagawat strongly discourages the practice. Rakhi Rathore, manager
at Eye Bank Society of Rajasthan and a mother to two girls says, "My daughters don't want gifts from me, they just want my time. Even when I am busy at work, I call my elder daughter when she is back from
school." Rakhi, who also travels a lot in the course of her work, believes in getting involved with her children and also involving them in her life. "If they ask me to come home early on a particular day, I ensure
I do that.
Communication is a must, and I keep talking to them about what I did during the day and ask them the same. In the evenings, we often go to parks and spend time together," Rakhi adds. Communication gap is one big reason children drift away from parents, says child counsellor Meghna Bhagwati who practices at Durgapura. "Systems should be planned in such a way that you and your child spend some part of your day together. For example, you should make having one meal together in a day a must, and talk about your lives over the meal. Besides that, take your children out on weekends and also plan trips with them. A lot of bonding and catching up on the time lost is possible on trips," she suggests.
Savita Jagawat, who counsels parents and children at a well-known city hospital, says, "A child's personality is developed from day one. So, parents should connect with him/her from that time itself." A teenage girl once told Savita, in the course of her counselling session, that when she needed her parents the most, they weren't there. Now she doesn't need them anymore. Savita, who also conducts regular workshops at schools, says that owing to increasing exposure, adolescence now sets in from the age of 10 years, and if children won't get time from parents from the beginning, they will look for company outside home which isn't
advisable at an early age.
Working parents shouldn't feel guilty, say counsellors, as despite commitments, one can still be connected with their child's life. Banker Himanshu Pant, a resident of Sri Gopal Nagar, ensures he bonds with his son over what he learns in school everyday. "I ask him what he learnt at school and then show him related stuff
and images on the internet. This way, he gets an additional perspective and shares everything with me," he says. Himanshu and his son fly kites on weekends in winters and play football together. Counsellors say it is important for parents to give time to their children on a daily basis. Time management is the key word and it is important to plan your child's day in a way that when he/she needs you the most, you are there.
Jaishri Sidha, principal of Jaipur Public School says, "I try to find innovative and creative ways of getting involved with my sons. I am there when they wake up and try and adjust my time-table according to
their routine. I ensure my children have adequate interaction with their maternal and paternal grandparents so that they learn the right values from them." The joint family system is a great help, feel many parents, and the
city's cultural ethos still holds family values in the highest esteem. However, even in nuclear families, right efforts at the right time will keep your relationship intact.
Sangeeta Ranka, associated with a training institute, says, "Everyone in the family has a different schedule, but it is important to find a common time to spend together. We ask parents to ensure their child wakes up on time in the morning so that everyone starts their day together. Also, taking them for activities that interest them like dance classes is a great way to bond."
Sangeeta maintains that dialogue is important to nurture a parent-child relationship. "Tell them stories about your own childhood. Not only will they love listening to them but will relate to you even more. When you take them out to amusement parks or any other outings, switch off your phone. Give them your undivided
attention," she suggests.
Planning their children's weekends, making birthdays and festivals special for them adds value to a parent-child relationship. In this manner, the child will get enough space to bond with the parent and also feel more wanted.
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